Understanding Self-Care for Teens
Self-care can be a tricky concept to approach with anyone, let alone your teenager.
Adolescents are experiencing so many changes: physical changes and emotional rollercoasters. Don’t forget the complexities of navigating teen social dynamics. With all of these adolescent developments, the topic of self-care for teens can be daunting to approach. As a result, it often falls by the wayside.
Stereotypes Surrounding Self-Care for Teens
The stereotypes surrounding self-care often play a role in adolescent buy-in. How many times has your adolescent or even an adult that you know rolled their eyes or sighed at the mention of “So what do you do for self-care?” This response can be caused by automatic thoughts related to self-care, including the belief that self-care is a fad.
Many teens think of meditation, yoga, hot baths, or exercise when asked to reflect on self-care topics. While all of these examples can be self-care routines (and amazing ones at that), there are so many other examples of what self-care can mean beyond these societal and general ‘norms’.
The struggle for teens is that they often focus on these external components of self-care, and for many teens, this becomes a deterrent.
Self-care is personal, and the goal of self-care is to help increase healthy coping skills, build healthy habits, and improve overall mental health. When teens feed into these external examples of self-care, they move away from the internal motivators and authenticity of “What does self-care look like for me and my needs?”
Understanding that self-care is a personal choice and one that can take trial and error helps build autonomy for teens to explore and discover what works and what does not work for their self-care routines.
Self-Care for Teens: Factors to Consider
One factor to consider when thinking about self-care is the diverse definitions and routines being thrown around on social media related to this topic.
Self-care in a lot of ways is presented as a new fad for young adults to jump on board with. While these new trends can be positive, including health routines, community ideas, and education surrounding healthy coping skills, the pressure and idea of self-care being uniformed or done for ‘likes’ can often take away from the meaning behind the act of self-care itself.
From skin care routines to diet culture to health challenges posted on Instagram, the messaging around why we do self-care activities in the first place gets a bit lost in the noise and further leads teens to take part in ‘self-care’ routines that may not feel aligned with their happiness, goals, and health.
Self-care influencer content can also influence the “why” behind self-care posts or trends. For some adolescents, influencer self-care ideas can be inspiring, however, for others, it can be detrimental to their own mental health.
In a research article from Lybi Ma on Likes and Lies: The Effects of Influencers on Teens, Lybi outlines how “social media allows influencers to warp reality, leaving teens vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy or depression and damaging their mental health, especially as they figure out who they are and want to become.” (Ma, 2025). Influencer self-care trends feed into expensive trips to exotic places, intense daily workout routines, in-depth makeup routines with branded makeup deals, and often times, regimented diet culture.
The reality of self-care for teens gets blurred and can feel out of reach. The simplicity of influencers, including basic daily routines such as getting out of bed and brushing one’s teeth, gets lost in media, and the unrealistic expectations of self-care bleed into a false sense of what is in reach or expected for most teens.
What Is Self-Care for Teens & Why Is It Important?
So what does ‘self-care’ really mean for teens, and how do they weed through all of the noise and fads out there?
The truth behind self-care is that it is unique to each individual. For teens, especially, the more internally motivated a self-care routine is, the more likely they are to stick with it.
In the definition of self-care provided by WHO, self-care includes the “support of a health or care worker” (WHO, 2025). Relying on support from a therapist, mentor, parent, or educator to get started with self-care ideas can be helpful for a teen who is exploring their identity. The key is to try things on and see what fits and to weed out influences that do not feel authentic.
Authenticity refers to being genuine or authentic. For someone to be driven to achieve something with authenticity, there generally needs to be a sense of internal motivation. Internal motivation is engaging in an activity due to love for that project, in addition to doing that activity for the pure internal feelings of joy or personal satisfaction that it brings. Internal motivation differs from external motivation, as external motivation is driven by a reward or validation from a person or thing on the other side.
Individuals experience both internal and external motivation daily; however, authentic success and long-term consistency stem from seeking more excellent internal motivating factors. For adolescents, when considering self-care and what routine to begin or why to begin it, the internal benefits of feeling less stressed when they do this activity, feeling higher self-esteem after completing the activity, and overall feeling emotionally resilient, are what needs to drive the self-care routine.
When the external factors override the internal benefits for adolescents, the routine falls apart and the authenticity of “self-care” gets lost. Internal motivation is hard to build, especially for teens!
One thing to consider is that teens can build buy-in to start an activity for themselves based on an external reward. The kicker is to assess if one is building internal motivation over time from this once external motivated activity, or if it is time to explore new ideas.
For example, if a teen sees an influencer doing a makeup routine on Instagram and decides that they would like to start their own makeup routine and post the process on Instagram, a helpful question to ask to assess motivation for this routine would be “Are you doing your make-up for yourself because you feel good when the routine is done? Is it soothing and helps you build confidence?” or “Are you doing the make-up routine for likes on instagram and are not fully enjoying all the steps needed to complete it?” One is authentic; one is external.
Remember! The external motivator can turn into an internal motivator; however, self-awareness and assessment are key to remaining authentic.
Challenges in Teen Self-Care
When considering self-care and the idea of exploring what this means for oneself, it is also important to consider mental health as another factor that can impact an individual’s ability to complete self-care routines.
Mental health struggles such as depression, anxiety, trauma, executive functioning struggles, and family and school conflict can create barriers to self-care for adolescents. Depression and anxiety specifically influence dopamine levels, which, in return, directly influence motivation. For an adolescent who is struggling with any mental health symptoms, the expectations for self-care needs to be adjusted.
Daily self-care practices that many individuals do not think twice about become overwhelming and stressful for adolescents who are struggling. Practices such as self-hygiene, getting out of bed in the morning, eating meals, participating in exercise or extracurricular activities, and taking a shower can be activities that for teens who are struggling, no longer feel “easy.” Setting realistic expectations for adolescents who are struggling and who are experiencing these barriers to self-care routines is a necessary step in supporting adolescent recovery and resilience.
When teens are experiencing these challenges to self-care advocacy, accountability buddies, creativity for getting these self-care routines done, and goal setting are helpful tips to support teen self-care even in the lowest of times. Starting small and assessing realistic self-care activities is a helpful reminder for teens and parents to support realistic growth rather than inconsistent self-care activities and unwanted pressure.
Self-Care Activities for Teens: Finding What Works
- Physical: Exercise, nutrition, sleep.
- Setting an alarm every morning for teens struggling with mental health to make their bed.
- Assessing what type of exercise is fun and starting there!
- Emotional: Journaling, therapy, mindfulness.
- Work with a therapist who aligns with your goals.
- Try things on! Assess if you like to do self-care routines on your ownor with a community.
- Incorporate mindfulness into your routine based on personal interests. If yoga feels authentic to you, do it! The key is to incorporate a mindfulness practice that you enjoy, not one that fits societal expectations.
- Creative & Relaxation: Music, art, nature walks.
How to Build a Self-Care Routine
- Assess where someone is at with their mental health and support realistic self-care goals. If a teen is struggling with their mental health and may be finding it hard to get out of bed some days, their self-care routines may look as simple as brushing their teeth and incorporating hygiene skills in the morning that make them feel good.
- Have teens identify their strengths and activities that make them feel positive and proud of themselves. For example, for a teen who loves sports and feels happiest after sports practices, maybe their self-care routine includes 5-10 minutes outside building that skill.
- Habit stack self-care into your routine! If you already go on a morning walk every day and would like to add a few minutes of running, stack it onto your existing habit.
Quick & Easy Self-Care Ideas for Teens:
- Engage in an activity that you enjoy and that increases movement.
- Going for a walk, doing an exercise that you enjoy, joining a club or team
- Build a morning routine.
- Create structure in the morning to set yourself up for success!
- Create a gratitude journal and set a 5-minute timer to journal daily.
- Do this during a time that you have already set for yourself to unwind.
- Create a playlist of music that you enjoy to elevate your mood.
- Surround yourself with a positive community for support and encouragement.
- Therapy, family, friends, school
- Try new things to see what sticks and leads to long-term happiness.
Conclusion: How The Arrow House Supports Teen Self-Care
Adolescent development is tricky. Adolescents are experiencing developmental changes, peer and social pressures, and physical and emotional shifts, all while constantly trying to discover who they are as individuals.
Regardless of the phase a teen is in, mental health and self-care go hand in hand. Evaluating the barriers to teen self-care creates a pathway to understanding how to break down the barriers. For some adolescents, this may be as simple as changing up some routines in the household, while for other adolescents, the barrier may be more complex, tied in with significant mental health struggles.
Assess the type of barriers your teen is experiencing and what level of support they may need to push through. At The Arrow House, self-care is at the forefront of all therapeutic services for our adolescents. From basic hygiene education to exploring new hobbies and passions that our teens can participate in, mental health recovery and self-care are intertwined.
The Arrow House is a creative and supportive environment for adolescents who are struggling with mental health or substance use. The structure, daily programming, creativity, and individual, group, and family therapy included at The Arrow House provide a unique and safe community for families and adolescents to recover.
Please reach out to info@thearrowhouse.com for more information or check out our website at www.thearrowhouse.com/ Written by Nikki Wendel, M.Ed, APCC, Education Director of The Arrow House